The phone rang at 6:10 this morning. I knew, from the Caller ID, that we had lost Stacey's Aunt Margie. Steffi was on the phone with news of her mom's demise. It was expected. Margie had been sick for a long time now - in and out of the hospital on a week by week pattern of decline.
I have more than 30 years of wonderful memories of Margie's family, the Smolins - that's more than half of my life. Gathered in their house in Teaneck, New Jersey, the family shared many great and fun-filled times and, for me, Aunt Margie will always be a central part of those recollections. Passover Seders, bar and bas mitzvahs, weddings or just get-togethers, Margie's warmth, presence and personality were for me the glue that wove those reminiscences into a warm panorama of family love and togetherness.
It was, perhaps, fitting that Margie died just after Mother's Day for she was, indeed, a wonderful mother who loved her three daughters, Susan, Stephanie and Martine and welcomed their spouses into the family as if they belonged to her as well. She had a loving and durable bond with her husband and soul mate, Al, that endured over 66 years. Her love and concern for her grandchildren was evident to even a casual observer.
Her memory was sharp and unerring, even to the last days. Stacey and I saw her twice on this last weekend. We stopped at the hospital on our way to visit Dani and Erik for the Mother's Day weekend. And then again, on our way home. We knew it might be the last time to be close to her and to capture, somehow, a last fleeting memory of this woman who meant so much to us - she was one of the last connections to the past that was disappearing from the real world to that other, more nebulous world of memories.
We talked and she posed questions - to us and to herself, about God, politics, activism and the state of the world. We were astonished by this woman, her lungs struggling to take in breath, but still wanting to review issues of life that puzzled her. And I thought to myself that the loss of a loved one always saddens us. We want to hold on to them - that they should never leave us. But Margie's death also had within it a beauty that we should stop to admire and hold dear. She loved all of us with such a great love that I could see and feel in those last moments - her heart, it seemed, was breaking that she wouldn't be able to love us any longer.
As we left her bedside on Sunday evening, Stacey and I each leaned forward to kiss her lips one last time. The pain in her face was evident as she removed her oxygen mask to receive and give one last embrace from us.
Marjorie Smolin, a beautiful, kind and caring woman - Stacey's dear aunt and her mom's only sister. Another piece of the family and the older generation - gone. Certainly not forgotten.
Steffi and Margie on her birthday in April, 2004.
Al and Margie - a great love that endured, it seemed, forever.
Happy times - Margie's birthday party - April, 2004.
Margie and her niece, Stacey - great love.
Margie Smolin - beautiful, inside and out.
4 comments:
I met your Aunt Margie twice, once in the hospital almost ready to return home, and once,a few months ago,in her home. The first time she greeted me as if she was expecting me. She genuinely seemed happy to see me. I was struck by her warmth and charm and vigor. The second time,in her home, she greeted me as an old friend. Your uncle was sitting on a chair at the foot of the bed. She was lying in bed and Stacey was lounging on the bed with her, and I was sitting in a chair on the side of the room . What amazed me was that I was kept in the conversation, never talked around or made to feel excluded. And that was so because of Aunt Margie's orchestration.
I am happy to have met her and spoken with her and to have gotten a glimpse of what a special lady she was. My sincere condolences to the family. You were all blessed to
have had such a lady in your lives. With love, Doreen
Dearest Stacey & Matt: What a lovely tribute to your Aunt Margie. Your deep love for her is very evident. We are so very sorry for your loss. Aunt Margie sounds like a person that we would have liked to have dinner and a long conversation with. It is a sad day when good people die. All our Love, Carol & Mickey
Matt,
Very well said and the photos are quite moving. How great that you have captured her essence on film and then cared enough for the rest of us to send it out. It is a lovely tribute.
We will see you tomorrow at funeral. love,
Lori
I echo the others in saying what a wonderful tribute
you have made to Margie... and although it has
been a very long time since I have seen her...
I do remember her well.
My sincerest condolences.
Love,
Murray
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